Advice For The Clueless

Alex's real mom is pregnant. She's not married, she hasn't got a place of her own, no job, but she has chosen to keep the baby. When Alex first found out she was pregnant, she told her mom she didn't like it and didn't want her to have a baby (She also told John and I she didn't want us having another one ever either). Alex doesn't like "competition" in any way. Her mom at that point didn't know if she would keep it or not. Anyway, so she told us how it bothered her then. When Alex came home from being with her the weekend before last, she announced that Jessica was keeping the baby. This has really effected Alex in a negative way. She has been meaner, more insecure (mostly just going crazy when she's not with her dad), and over all harder to deal with. John and I both knew that if Jessica kept the baby it would sever a lot of ties with her and Alex. Alex has figured that out on her own. She remembers when her mom abandoned her for less. She actually even told John that even though her baby wasn't due for another month it'd be better to not plan things with Alex. Well, we have been trying to make her feel better about things. But Alex has bottled up her feelings and "pops" every now and then. Mostly just when her dad isn't around. How do we help her? We can't change the fact that Jessica will be around less. John and I actually are looking forward to it. But Alex, even though has openly told us that she doesn't like going with her mom, is still upset about being "replaced" in her mind. It's understandable to be upset about it. But despite me not wanting to admit it, Jessica has some good reasons for not taking Alex for a while after the baby's born. Alex just doesn't understand that. In her mind, if she can take care of a baby, why can't she take care of her? It's a good point. But Jessica has never been a good mom. One is almost too much for her to handle at a time. So we're back to square one. Alex is feeling rejected and hurt by her mom.. again, and we don't know how to help her this time. I'm not sure we really even can help her. This is something her mom should be helping her deal with. She needs to be reassuring Alex that she'll still be there for her. (Not like she really ever has been but Alex still needs to hear it.) Any suggestions for the clueless?